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Sunday, February 15, 2015

Love Endures All Things

A Sermon Based Upon 1 Corinthians  13: 1-13
By Rev. Dr. Charles J. Tomlin, DMin
Flat Rock-Zion Baptist Partnership
Epiphany 5, Year (B),   February 15st,  2015

Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. (1Co 13:8 NRS)

I once saw Shakespeare’s most popular play, Romeo and Juliet, performed at the theater built near Shakespeare’s home in England at Stratford upon Avon.  It was done so well and so beautifully, that I haven’t ever wanted to ever see it again.   I want that memory to be the only memory I ever have the tragic love portrayed in that version of Romeo and Juliet

We all know that story, and like that story survives because all true love can be both tremendous and tragic.   According to Shakespeare’s interpretation, Romeo and Juliet’s love for each other was tremendous, because they loved each other and wanted to live no other way.   But there love was also tragic, because it was forbidden, and they made the tragic choose to be united in death rather than be separated in life. 

Whatever we take from Shakespeare’s play,  we must agree that love still does strange things to people.  Love is a power so strong, that people are willing to die for it.  But I wonder if Romeo and Juliet had been allowed to get married, would their passion have endured the reality of their togetherness?   It is one thing to have a love we can’t live without, but do we have a love we can also live with?  

Living with love is the test of true love.  And this is the kind of enduring, unending, redundant, selfless love, Paul writes about in First Corinthians.   Love can be a passion, but love that endures is more like the love we share and show day to day.   In this way, love is not just a feeling that ‘kills us’,  but it is how we live for and live with another that really matters.  It is this living love that makes sense of life and leaves us better for having loved, rather than not having loved at all.   This kind of ‘living’ love includes, but is much more than a physical eros, and it is even more than the brotherly or sister love of philia, as in Philadelphia.  The love Paul recommends to the Corinthians and to us, is a spiritual, unconditional love,  self-giving love---a love which the Greeks knew as agape,  which for Christians, is the nature of the divine love revealed  to us, and commanded, by Jesus Christ. 

LOVE GIVES MEANING  TO LIFE
Love endures because love gives life its meaning.   We exist, not just to exist, but to love and to learn to give and share love.   There is no other purpose worth living for.  Life is not finally about talking, preaching, believing, doing, giving, or sacrificing, only for the sake of talking, preaching, believing, doing, giving, or sacrificing.  No, according to Paul, all the talking, preaching, belieiving, doing, giving, or sacrificing means nothing if we do not have love.  Love is what we can’t live without, because it is also what we live for.   To put it in Paul’s own words:  “If I have tongues, powers, and faith, but do not have love I have nothing.   Even if I give away all possessions and sacrifice my own life, and do not have love,  I gain nothing  (13: 1-3).

What do we gain in life?  What do we show for all our living?  What do we work for, care for, give for, hope for?   Love is the only thing, says Paul.  Love is what makes life worth living and what makes us able to face life and death.  Only when we live our lives for something,  and that something is love, we live for nothing.

When we try to understand what Paul means, we have to go back, once again, to try to understand why he wrote these words about love.  He was writing to tell a divided, conflictive, and alienated congregation why they they existed.   The church at Corinth had great potential and possibility, but that was all going to be lost if they did not understand that love was the reason they existed as a church.  A church that is built on God’s love, can’t exist without continuing to build their relationships on that love.   Without love, they, just like we have nothing to say,  nothing to become, and nothing to do, because only exist to bring God’s love into the world.  Without love, the church has and is, nothing.

It’s the same for us.   We are either a church that loves, or we are not a church at all.  Anytime we let any talk, belief or deed, or plan, even one we would die for, if we allow our difference to get in the way of loving and living together, we threaten our whole existence as God’s people.  Our only reason is to love, or we have no reason and we lose all reason, just like we end up with nothing.    Only love, and only an love that endures anything and everything, gives us existence and endurance we need to keep existing, both as God’s community and church.

In a church in Greensboro, I had an elderly member who grew up Amish in Pennsylvania.  She spoke a lot about her upbringing, and she loved to read and share her books about Amish life and living.  But what separated her from that life today was not her lack of respect or love for the community, but the failure of that community to love her, even when she was young and making unwise, perhaps even unethical decisions. 

I never knew exactly what those mistakes where, failure which caused that church to shun her, but I really did not care to know.   What I knew myself was the kind, loving, caring person she became, and the heartbreak she still felt.   I also knew that the real loss and failure was not her failure to the community, but the failure of that community to find a way to love and to keep on loving someone, even when they fail.   Again, I don’t know the details, but I know that if you lose love, even though you may keep all your ideals, standards, beliefs and morals high---if you lose love--- you still lose.  Maybe the Amish church meant well and did right when they shunned her.  She certainly did turn out to be a wonderful person later in life.   But I think it could have even turned out better in that church community, just like it does in any community or relationship, like a marriage, a family, or any other relationship.  When people find ways to stay together, even if they disagree, or even when they are hurt, it always turns out better when love finds a way to win.  

Maybe I’m dreaming of a kingdom that can’t be of this world, but Jesus thought it could.  He also  taught us to pray for it and live toward it.   I’m not judging, because I love my Amish neighbors,  but I’ve never understood how the same Amish community, who can muster the incredible moral strength it takes to forgive someone for murdering 5 of their precious children, could then turn to shun someone who had one child out of wedlock.  It still happens.  I know what they are trying to do.  They are trying to protect their own children from sin, but if they are not careful, by over protecting them,  they might also be preventing them from learning how to love. 

To keep up the moral standards of a community, of a family, of a church, at all costs---even the cost of love, is a cost too high.  Do you know what you have when you lose love?   Paul says you have nothing.  Besides having nothing,  you end up doing nothing good for the world, because you don’t stop evil by getting rid of evil.   Retaliation just makes the enemy grow.  You only stop evil with love, the kind of love that can even love an enemy.   And do you know the first enemy you are to love?   It is the enemy who is right beside you, even at church.  You must love that enemy before love can begin or go anywhere else.   I know this kind of love is hard, but we must love, because the greatest failure is and will always be the failure to love.  If you have love,  you win, no matter what.   But if you lose love, even when you are trying to win, you still lose.  You can only win something,  when you win with love.

LOVE TELLS US HOW WE MUST LIVE
The love that wins is never mere words, but it must mean action.   Love is patient, kind, not envious, not arrogant, not rude nor resentful….  You get the picture.  Love is a moving target, an action picture of people on the move to do things for love.  

When I read this text, I can’t help but hum that popular songs years back,  “The Things We Do for Love”.  We might think of the kinds of stupid things we once did, but Paul wants us to think of the smart things we should do---the things we should do for the sake of bringing love and meaning into our lives, into our church, and into the lives of those around us. 

The ‘things we do’ for love are these kinds of things Paul mentions here: patience, kindness, not keeping records of wrongs, not thinking too much of ourselves and too little of the other person.   You can fit Paul’s love language into most any relationship, be it social, family, marriage, or church, and you don’t need psychologists, a psychiatrist, a social worker, a book on the 5 loves languages  (And it’s a good book), or anything or anyone else to tell you what should you do to keep love alive anywhere.  These actions Paul mentions will work, because love works. When people do the work of love and not only talk the talk of love, love works.  When both parties want and desire their relationship to work, love will work because love always does the work it takes to love. 

Years ago, the great evangelist DL Moody held revival meetings all over this country.  It was a different day, when people would come together and remain together until something changed, or when something good happened.   That’s why they weren’t just called revivals, but they were called ‘protracted meetings’.   In one particular town, Moody started preaching on love, and he continued to preach 8 sermons on this one topic, love.   After the eight night  someone approached Moody to ask when he was going to preach on another topic.  “When you start loving each other, then I’ll move on.”   I don’t remember the details, but the story makes a point I’ve never forgotten.  Until we show and live the love we talk, we not only have nothing, we are doing nothing.   Love is worth our doing, or nothing is worth doing at all.

The other thing we need to see again,  is how Paul describes love as beyond feelings or emotions.  Love that lasts is based on self-initiated action for each other, not our reaction.  “Love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor.  Do not lag in zeal….”  (Rom. 12.10).  In other words, I don’t love because you love me, but I love you because I love and want you to love me too.   You’re love matters, but my love for you matters more, and we can only keep loving and acting on our love, when  we show mutual affection, but the motivation for love is in me and in the ‘things I do for love’. 

This doesn’t mean that feelings aren’t important or that we should not try to bring happiness to each other.  What Paul when he says that love is based on enduring actions of love, means that happiness is a by-product of how we show each other our love through acts and deeds of love.   The love that bears all, believes all, hopes all, and endures all is a love that acts with self-less other directed love.  Even though Paul says, love endures and does not end, he does not mean there is no limit to love.  “Where is the love you had at the first?”  Recall those sharp words to Church at Ephesus.   Love will last because love is limitless.   But even a limitless love has its limits, too.  If we stop loving, love will end  because there is no more love.  To say that love endures shows us quality of love and our capacity to love, but we still have the power in us to decide and determine the quantity of how far love goes---it goes only as far as are willing to show, act upon and do the deeds of love.      

LOVE IS WHAT MATTERS   
This brings us to a final word about enduring love.  Love endures, because it brings life meaning, and our meaning in life depends on doing deeds of love for each other.  But what about the limits?   Even God’s love, a love without limits, will end at a dead end at the cross, unless we respond to that love, by also taking up our cross and following loves’ way.   Do you know the way to love?  Do you want to know the way to love?  I don’t think it is as hard as some people are trying to make it in our crazy, loveless, world.

Last November, I was having some work done on my car, when the news came across the TV about Adrian Peterson being punished by the NFL for abusing his child with a hickory switch.  The mechanic, not knowing I was a preacher, looked up at me and said,  “I wonder what they would do to my mother for the “butt” woopings she gave me.  He didn’t say “Butt”.  He continued:  “My Father died when I was 6, and my mother’s spankings didn’t hurt me a bit.  I smiled at him, and said, “You know, it seems to me they are all missing the main point!”  Of course, I’m not for abuse,  but it’s not simply about whether a Father, a Mother always gets it right, whether they choose to spank or not to spank, but what it’s really about is whether they loved you enough to care enough to make sure you or I got the discipline we needed so we would get it right. 

I’m afraid, if our society, if we are not careful, we are going to miss what matters most.  I’m not defending abuse but I’m saying that love is what matters, and love covers all kinds of mistakes, sins, or human errors.  But that’s not the questions people are asking or searching for these days.  I’m afraid we are setting our sights on things that matter much less than the things that matter most.  But how do we know the difference?  Paul says, only love knows.

Paul concludes his song about love with a call for maturity.   “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, but when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. “   How do we put away ‘childish ways’ of divisiveness for the sake of love?  Paul says love matters most, because all other knowledge, all other wisdom, or even God’s revelations, will always be partial, fuzzy, and incomplete until the day we know ourselves as God knows us.   For now, within our limits, the only thing we can know for sure is what love means, and that’s enough, because love is what matters most.   Love is what we must give each other, because it is the only gift we could ever dream of ever giving back to this loving, graceful, merciful God,  who first loved us.   Amen.  

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