Getting Comfortable In Your Own Skin

A sermon based upon Colossians 3: 9-17; Luke 18: 9-14 NRSV

By Rev. Charles J. Tomlin, DMin

Flat Rock-Zion Baptist Partnership

The Fifth Sunday of Easter, May 5th, 2013

 "As God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, clothe yourselves with....humility...  (Col 3:12 NRS)

When Jesus called us to follow him, he didn't give us a list of personal qualities to develop like Paul did.  Instead, Jesus told stories, and the stories Jesus told made pretty clear what is expected of Christ's followers. The following parable is an example.  It's taken  from The Message Translation:

He told his next story to some who were complacently pleased with themselves over their moral performance and looked down their noses at the common people: 10 "Two men went up to the Temple to pray, one a Pharisee, the other a tax man. 11 The Pharisee posed and prayed like this: 'Oh, God, I thank you that I am not like other people - robbers, crooks, adulterers, or, heaven forbid, like this tax man. 12 I fast twice a week and tithe on all my income.' 13 "Meanwhile the tax man, slumped in the shadows, his face in his hands, not daring to look up, said, 'God, give mercy. Forgive me, a sinner.'" 14 Jesus commented, "This tax man, not the other, went home made right with God. If you walk around with your nose in the air, you're going to end up flat on your face, but if you're content to be simply yourself, you will become more than yourself."

This is definitely a case of a very odd couple, and it's beyond clear which of these two serve as a model of the kind of person Jesus wants his followers to be.  But of the many positive qualities Jesus desired that we possess, humility may be the hardest.  Mac Davis sang the truth of it: 

“Lord, It’s hard to be humble. Oh Lord it's hard to be humble 
when you're perfect in every way.

I can't wait to look in the mirror cause I get better looking each day.

To know me is to love me, I must be a heck of a man.

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble but I'm doing the best that I can.”

IT IS HARD TO BE HUMBLE

It is hard to be humble for lot of reasons.  For one thing, you can sort of measure how well you're doing in matters like honesty, compassion, kindness or helpfulness.  But how do you measure your own humility?  Do you become a door mat and let people walk all over you?  Do you take everything lying down and never stand up to anyone or anything?  What does humility mean, especially when there are bullies everywhere? 

It might be possible for someone to know when you’re not being humble, like Mac Davis sings,“I must be a heck of a man”  But the real question is: How do you know when you are being humble enough?  Is humility really something you can measure or practice?  Would you be humble if you proclaimed, as the fellow in Jesus' story did, as he is basically saying, “Here is my humility and How I Achieved It"?    Think about it?  Everything this Pharisee did well---by not being like other people and by avoiding evil---was making him less and less humble by the minute.   When you think about it, humility is really hard.   

Arrogance and Pride, which are the opposites of humility, are much easier to see and to quantify.  Arrogance can also sneak into our behavior in very subtle and unsuspecting ways, like it does for the Pharisee.  He prays more than anybody else and probably actually does pray better.  Doing anything well and often---being faithful, being honest, being hardworking, and being diligent will often lead to success.  Then, when you end up better than other people----well, you know what I mean.  It’s almost as if being good, being honest, and being righteous has a build-in hazard of self-righteousness so that it is practically impossible to maintain a certain degree of humility unless you work just as hard at negating yourself.  (Some great saints actually did this, in physical ways, such as having themselves whipped, nailed to crosses, or beaten down verbally, just so they would not succumb to selfish pride.  Is this really what humility means---beating ourselves on the chest and telling God just how bad we are, so we can keep form becoming arrogant about it?  If you do that psychologists and psychiatrist are really going to have a hay-day with you!

MANY PEOPLE MISUNDERSTAND  HUMILITY

Here, in this ‘tax man’ , who ‘beats himself down’ is exactly why most people misunderstand humility.  Many of us see humility as a way we must belittle and depreciate ourselves, as we put ourselves down and beat ourselves up over and over to remain humble.   But is this really what God wants us to be---people always thinking about how sinful, how sorry, and how shameful we look in the eyes of God.  Is this what it takes to be humble?   If it is, there is little wonder true religion is losing ground in our culture.     

I don’t believe that 'beating ourselves up' is what Jesus meant in this story or what God wants us to do to stay humble. Years ago there was a gospel hymn which said:  
"Oh, to be nothing, nothing!  Only to lie at His feet, A broken and emptied vessel— For the Master’s use made meet!  Emptied that He might fill me As forth to His service I go;   Broken, that so unhindered, His life through me might flow.  Source:http://www.hymnal.net/.

There is, of course, something meaningful about giving your brokenness to God, but I don't believe the gospel calls us to be "nothing."   I believe we're called to be who we are created to be.   As the saying goes,   "God don't make no junk." Humility should not mean self-effacement. God created us, and we do not honor God by depreciating God's creation.  Since we are created in the image of God putting ourselves down is to put God down, for he is the one who made us and his image remains in us no matter what.   Our whole self-esteem is important to God and so it should be important to us.  This is precisely why the second great commandment, the one following "You should love the Lord your God with everything you have," is "You should love your neighbor as you love yourself."  We are commanded to ‘love ourselves’ too.

There is a cartoon which shows a man standing in front of his mirror while shaving and saying, "If you're your own best friend, how come you don't like yourself any better than you do?" Behind the humor may be an element of truth that somewhere along the line, that person heard they weren't supposed to feel good about themselves.   Do we sometimes mishear the gospel's message about human sinfulness that fails to stress the image of God in all humanity.   Could it be that some leave the church God forbid, so that they can feel better about themselves?    

CAUTION: MODESTY IS NOT HUMILITY

So humility has can have an 'image' problem because it's hard to quantify and is easily misunderstood.  Perhaps we could begin to correct this by realizing first that one can be "over-humble" just as one can be too prideful.   When people launch out into the job market, they had better be able to claim their good qualities and be able to give strong reasons why an employer should hire them.  Modesty is not likely to get them a job.  It's one thing to post a boasting poster about yourself to the world, but it’s quite different to answer questions like:"Why should we hire you?" or “What are you good at?”   You are not being humble when you negate who you are!

Interestingly, in this story Jesus told about the Pharisee and the Sinner, the sinner not really negating himself, but he is actually owning up to who he actually is in that moment.   This is exactly what the Pharisee is not doing.   The Pharisee is a sinner too, but he will not admit it.   And that is exactly his problem.  The Pharisee become ‘blinded by his own goodness’ and no longer can he see the value of God’s mercy nor the goodness of grace God has for him as a sinner.   Jesus cannot enter into his heart or his head because there is no room.

A painting that creates an impact is one entitled, "The Presence in the Midst" by Quaker artist James Doyle Penrose.  It shows the interior of humble meeting house. Your attention is immediately drawn to the altar area where two leaders of the congregation are seated with heads bowed in prayer.  Everyone in the meeting house is bowed in prayer with them.  Right in the middle of that humble congregation, between the two seated individuals, one male and one female, stands the spiritual outline of Jesus.  The point is that when people bow themselves humbly before God, the living and real presence of Jesus is to be found in in their midst.   If Jesus is to be found anywhere in this world, it is among the people who feel, admit and know their need of God. 

Why is Jesus found there in the presence of the humble?  Well, one reason is because people who bow humbly, are more able to receive the presence of Christ than arrogant people.  But I think there's another reason as well, and that is that Jesus wants us to understand that humility doesn't need to be humiliation.  When a person admits their need of God---when they confess, repent of sins, feel sorry for failures or simply feel insignificant or in need of a power beyond themselves, this does not mean making an apology for being alive.   We are to come to God humbly so we can come to terms with not only who God is but with who we created to be.   If we come to God bowing with humility, confession, prayer and sincerity of heart, God can remake us, reshape us, and help us realize and become all we are created to be.  Humility should not mean negating ourselves, but humility should be the key to discovering our true self, our best self, our most desired self, and then, by deciding to be the person we actually are---a person who is a sinner, who falls short, we also become the person who with only a few words, within a few steps and with only a few intentional deeds is a prayer away from becoming a saint.

With humility in Christ there is a great freedom of acceptance as a result of the forgiveness and grace we all need which comes from God's great love.  This is the kind of love that has come down to us in Christ's own humble way of taking on flesh and becoming one of us.   This is greatly illustrated story based on the ancient saying which goes::  "I eat peas with honey, /Been doin' it all my life; It tastes kind of funny, /But it keeps the peas on my knife." 

Most of us have never known anyone who eats peas with a knife.  But there was a story which appeared in GUIDEPOSTS by a lady named Cori Connors which spoke of it.  In that article, Cori tells the story of her mother, who, to this day, is teased for eating peas with a knife, instead of a fork. But there's a wonderful story behind this strange custom.   Cori's mom grew up during the Depression. Her family was poor, like much of the rest of the country, but they had a vegetable garden that kept them from starving. Strangers passing through town in search of work were welcome at their table. They never turned anyone away hungry. 

One day, her father brought home a man named Henry. Henry didn't know much English, but his gestures of gratitude toward the family were easy to understand. At dinner that evening, the family waited to let Henry start his meal first. Eagerly, he grabbed up his knife and dug into his peas. The children in the family were astonished. Henry had an amazing ability to balance all the peas on his knife perfectly. The children began to giggle at this strange eating habit. But the father of the family, giving his children a silencing look, picked up his own knife and began eating his peas. Although he had much less success than Henry, he kept at it and eventually captured every last pea. That day, Cori's mother saw a concrete example of humlity which resulted in acceptance and grace, of treating people with dignity,being humble and being willing to share our humility, in spite of our differences. That message has been passed down to her children and her grandchildren. Who knows how many generations will learn from the example of a father's acceptance of a man who ate peas with his knife? (From Guideposts, March 1997, p. 36). 

THE VALUE OF OUR HUMILITY IN JESUS

The more I think about Jesus making a ‘sinner’ the hero in the story, the more I realize why Jesus should be so important to each of us.   Jesus did not come to be our savior by showing us bad we humans can be (we already know that), but Jesus came to be our savior because he wants to show us who we can be, if we will come to him as we actually are, accepting ourselves as we accept others, becoming comfortable, not complacent, but accepting and open, not putting up any pretense, façade, or deception in our hearts.   God already knows who we are and who we aren’t, but now Jesus has come to make it clear to us who we can become.  We can know that we most loved, most chosen, and most elected exactly because we know who we aren't.

That God has good reasons to call us to humility can be clearly seen in the result of this Sinner's humility in Jesus story.   It is only the humble 'sinner' who 'went home justified' (vs. 14a), and it only the one who was humble who "will be exalted" (vs. 14b)

Some people misunderstand the Christian Church to be a fellowship of do-gooders who think of themselves as a notch above everyone else. Now, I think most of us in the church know better than that, but maybe that's another way in which we have mis-communicated to the world. Charles Clayton Morrison left us with an outstanding description of the Church. He said:  "The Christian Church is not a society of integrated personalities, nor of philosophers, nor of mystics nor even of good people. It's a society of broken personalities, of men and women with troubled minds, of people who know they're not good.  The Christian Church is a society of sinners. IT IS THE ONLY SOCIETY IN THE WORLD IN WHICH MEMBERSHIP IS BASED UPON THE SINGLE QUALIFICATION THAT THE CANDIDATES SHALL BE UNWORTHY OF MEMBERSHIP."

Now, that’s quite a humbling definition of being a church member and appropriately so. It doesn't lead me to claim some lofty moral status over others, nor does it relegate me to the dung heaps of failure and worthlessness. What such humility does is enable me to be quite honest about myself, both about my failures and my capabilities.  It reminds me that the church is not only a factory that could make us all saints, but it’s also a hospital for sinners, to come for help, healing and to be made well and whole in the presence of Christ.  It reminds me that I don't have to be someone I'm not, but I can come to God as I am and leave his presence becoming more than I am.

Writer Philip Yancey tells a disturbing story in his book, WHAT'S SO AMAZING ABOUT GRACE? He heard it from a friend who works with the down and out in Chicago. His friend said on one occasion, "A prostitute came to me in wretched straits, homeless, sick, unable to buy food for her two-year-old daughter. Through sobs and tears, she told me she had been renting out her daughter, two-years-old to men interested in kinky sex. She made more renting out her daughter for an hour than she could earn on her own in a night. She had to do it, she said, to support her own drug habit. I could hardly bear hearing her sordid story. For one thing, it made me legally liable.   I'm required to report cases of child abuse. I had no idea what to say to this woman. At last I asked if she had ever thought of going to a church for help. I will never forget the look of pure, naive shock that crossed her face. 'Church!' she cried. "Why would I ever go there? I was already feeling terrible about myself. They'd just make me feel worse."   "That's what so many feel about church today.   But in the time of Jesus,  Prostitutes and sinners were more likely to run toward Jesus, not away from him," says Philip Yancey,  "The worse a person felt about themselves, the more likely they saw Jesus as a refuge (From What's So Amazing About Grace by Philip Yancy as told in a sermon by King Ducan), Jesus wanted his followers to humbles themselves with the the hurting.  Has the church lost that gift?"  Could we be humbled by the fact that it took the same amount of grace to save us, as to save the lowest, maybe more.

Jesus Christ became 'flesh and dwelt among us'  not only so that God could be with us in human skin to save and forgive, but it was also to teach us the value and potential of our humanness---that is, so we might become comfortable in our own skin.  A Spanish philosopher has said that, "being close to heaven is to love myself as much as God does."  After Jesus became flesh, and brought heaven and God’s perfect love down to earth, we should forever be reminded not to discount ourselves.   Feelings of 'unworthiness' to be in God's perfect presence must never mean that we have no worth toward God or in life.  The tax man was was not discounting himself, but he was accounting for his sin.  Jesus always taught the opposite of discounting ourselves, because at one point in his ministry, you'll recall, in the wake of having done something amazing and remarkable, Jesus told his disciples, "Greater things than these will you do."  So of all things, never count yourselves out of doing remarkable things for God.

"Humility is being precisely the person you actually are in the presence of God”, Thomas Merton once said.  This is exactly what the 'tax man' is doing.  What Jesus admires about him is that when a person becomes aware of God's presence, they will not focus on what they've done, who they are, nor what they've achieved  but in God's presence, when you humble yourself, you will focus on the God who is still bringing out the best in you, even as you bring him your sins, your failures, your flaws and your successes.    Humility does not lower you in God's eyes, but it lifts you up.   For if God is really with us, in us, around us, and before us, we will be humble.  When we are fully aware of God’s presence, it is not as hard to be humble.   What is hard to do when you humble yourself, is to remain the person you were.  "The one who humbles themselves, will be exalted."   Becoming 'comfortable' in your own skin, should not make you spiritually lazy, but it should make want to do and be more---not less.   It is only the humble man who returned home justified.  It is only the human person, who doesn't leave God presence at the altar, but invites God's presence into their lives.  When we go with God, and we know God goes with us,  there is no way but up.     Amen.