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Sunday, February 23, 2014

“EMPATHY: “Can You Feel the Pain?”

A Sermon Based Upon Matthew 5:4;  Matthew 9: 18-26
By Rev. Dr. Charles J. Tomlin, DMin
Flat Rock-Zion Baptist Partnership
7th Sunday of Epiphany, February 23, 2014

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Mat 5:4 NRS)

Eric Metaxas’ recent Biography, “Bonhoeffer”, retells the story of the German Lutheran pastor who opposed Hitler, was eventually imprisoned and finally was executed in April 1945, one day before the war was over.

In the time when Nazism was growing in Germany, sometime in 1933, Bonhoeffer visited one of the places Hitler wanted to close down, the Bethel Community, a community on the Northeast side of Berlin completely dedicated to the infirmed and the disabled.   It was a whole town with schools, churches, farms, factories, shops and housing for nurses which were all build around several hospitals and care facilities, including orphanages for the abandoned.  This was the kind of place Hitler called ‘useless’ and the people it cared for as being ‘unworthy of life’ because they were a constant drain (called ‘eaters’) on society.   In contrast, Bonhoeffer saw it as a place ‘where the gospel was made visible’, and as he later wrote his grandmother, it is a place ‘where the weak and helpless are cared for’ and these most defenseless people reveal how ‘defenseless’ and ‘needy’ we all are, no matter how healthy we seem to be (From Bonhoeffer, by Eric Metaxas, Thomas Nelson, 2010, p 184.).

Adolf Hitler was unable to feel the pain of other people.   He wanted to build a society based on ‘power’, success and the rule of the strongest with total disregard for the weak.  He also had no time for those who showed any kind of empathy or sympathy for others.  Most of those Germans who opposed Hitler, ‘mourned’ over the direction the nation was going, but unfortunately, the majority who placed Hitler into power, lost their capacity to ‘mourn’ until it was too late, only to be regained the hard way--through war, bloodshed, and agonizing defeat.    

Blessed are those who mourn…..” does not seem to be the right way to begin a message of ‘good news’.  In today’s ‘feel good’ culture, taking time to mourn seems more like a liability, or a handicap itself, rather than an asset or a strength we should gain or glorify.  How can Jesus call those who mourn, who lose, who suffer, who must grieve for themselves or for others---how can Jesus call those ‘who mourn’ to ‘blessed’ by God? 

‘THOSE WHO MOURN’ MEANS EVERYONE
First of all, we will never understand Jesus’ words if we are holding out a ‘false’ belief or hopeful ‘illusion’ that life is fair, that all’s right with the world, or that this world as it should be.   Ever since the gate of the Garden of Eden swung shut, nothing in this world is as it should be.   And if we are honest with ourselves we all know this deep down.   Life is not always good.  The way of the world is seldom fair.  Injustice is all around us.  Evil grows and growls in every corner of our world, even in the most sacred of places, including the church.   I often remind people that the first place Jesus cast out a demon was at church (or in a synagogue).   The first document written in the Bible was a letter from Paul to a church that was falling apart due to all kinds of problems.   In fact, most every document in the New Testament was written to deal with misunderstandings, falsehoods, and struggle in the churches to be and do rightly in the world.   Never, anywhere, except in the first chapter of Genesis or perhaps on the last page of Revelation, with its vision of Heaven does God, nor can we, call the world ‘good’.   Even Jesus in his own human flesh said, “Don’t call me good, no one is good but the Father in Heaven!”  The point being--that pure, unadulterated, and absolute goodness is impossible to have or hold on to in this world that is still broken and dominated by sin, Satan, and death.  

People who understand ‘how’ life is, really is, will mourn.   Blessings can still come to us in life, but there is no other way that ‘blessings’ can come to us, except through this ‘veil of tears.’   We cannot escape coming to grips with our shared human brokenness and vulnerability.   Some will try to deny or delay facing this human reality, but it will be at their own peril.   Remember the fellow in Jesus’ parable in Luke who attempted to isolate and insulate himself to the pain of the world by building bigger and better barns?  He did this but lost his own soul.  In the same way, unless we discover the ‘blessing---that comes when we mourn, and even through sharing the pain of others, we too can lose our own souls. 

As I working through this sermon back in December of 2013, around the 1st anniversary of the tragic murder of children in Newton, Connecticut, there was another tragic shooting at a school in Colorado, only blocks away from Columbine High School, and not far away from the terror at the Aurora movie theater.  If you look behind all these shootings what you will find is not just a bunch of psychologically deranged youth, but you will also see youth, families, and a society that, for whatever reason, are dealing with pains in life for which they do not have the resources to bear them.   Without the spiritual resources, without learning how to ‘mourn’ in constructive ways, people will find destructive ways to turn pain, anger, hurt and suffering back on to others.    As one Law Enforcement Officer said recently, it’s not just ‘evil’ out there but it is a “particular” kind of evil, where children who have been too well insulated from the realities of life, must eventually face them, but do not know how.  The tragedies we are seeing today come from a society that no longer knows how to find God’s ‘blessing’ in the midst of acknowledging and sharing human pain.   When we are unable feel or share our pain we can’t find God’s blessing, and we soon start to feel ‘cursed’.

BLESSED ARE THOSE WHO MOURN?
Notice also, the most bizarre part of this saying from Jesus which calls those who mourn “blessed’ by God.   Can we find any good in the midst of human pain and loss?   We better, and we must, because we will all suffer loss and pain in this world, but we don’t have to end up cursing the darkness

In May of 1995, the actor and director Christopher Reeve was thrown from a horse in a bizarre riding accident that paralyzed him from the neck down.   As an accomplished sailor, pilot, and avid outdoorsman, a respected actor, and a vibrant father, at the age of forty-two was confined to a wheel chair and a ventilator.  Reeve faced the probability that he would never again enjoy the things that had given his life so much richness and meaning.  It was, in his words, a totally arbitrary accident, a mere “instant of humiliation and embarrassment.”  He was, in many ways a man of ‘super’ sorrow.

But with a ‘super’ spirit of courage, his perseverance overcame his pessimism and, with the support of people who loved him, Reeve soldiered on and began the arduous task of rebuilding his life.   With patience and good humor, he made the adjustments his body demanded of him, coming to terms with both the physical and psychological challenges his disability posed.  He returned to work and was involved in a number of movie and theatrical projects.  He became a tireless advocate on behalf of victims of crippling accidents such as his, and created a foundation to advance research in the field of spinal cord injury and push for a cure.   Having endured what might embitter others, Reeve believed his accident gave him a deeper appreciation for his family.  As he once observed, before his death, his marriage was strengthened, his time with his children became richer, and be began noticing the little joys of life that he had long taken for granted.  The task of his life was not grieve over what he had lost, but to consider the kind of life he could have for himself, but what kind of life could he build to be a benefit to others  (As told in “What Jesus Meant”, by Erik Kolbell, p. 44). 

Fortunately, most of us have not had a terrible accident like Christopher Reeve, but the task of having to come to grips with what we lose in life, is “an irreducible, irreplaceable” (Kolbell, p. 44) and inescapable piece of human life.  As a Charlotte Pastor once said, “We are born losers” whether we choose to be or not.  We may not lose a loved one in a great tragedy like 9/11, nor have an accident as severe as Christopher Reeve, but we will fully lose those we love and we finally lose our own lives. As Job mourned his own situation: "Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked shall I return there; the LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD" (Job 1:21 NRS).    

But before we try to understand the ‘blessing’ that still can come to us, even in midst of pain and loss, we need to more fully understand the kind ‘loss’ Jesus meant---not only the one we feel.  The ‘mourning’ Jesus acknowledged here was not merely a grieving or ‘letting go’ of the life or love people have had, but it was a greater, more desperate ‘mourning’ over what these people never had, because they were poor, because they were numbered among the forgotten, the neglected, and the lowest part of their society.   The people “who heard Jesus gladly” (as Scripture says in Mark 6.20, & 12.37) were never were rich in any worldly way.   They hung on to Jesus words because they had nothing else to hold on to.  They were not the people who were going to ‘lose’ everything, but they were the people who never had anything, at least if you measured their lives by material or political standards of the world.   The common folk Jesus addressed had nowhere to turn but to God.  Most of them, like the woman with the blood problem, or this man whose child was dying, or the lepers, the prostitutes, or other outcasts, were already ‘mourning’ their lives because so much made their lives miserable each and every day, leaving them with no chance of success and little chance of survival.   Dare we imagine this kind of poverty, these kinds of illnesses, or the continual suffering and struggle those people faced?   One wonders, “How could they ever feel blessed” without so much of what we take for granted?  

Do we have room in our own ‘blessed’ and busy lives to mourn with people who live in and under such conditions today?  While the top 20 percent of the world’s population have more than 80 percent of the world’s total income and live in unparalleled luxury, the bottom 20 percent of the world’s population try to survive on less than 1.5 percent of the world’s income and are condemned to live lives characterized by cycles of deprivation and despair.   Because most people in this world cannot access their ‘fair share’ of the world’s income, many, in desperation, sell their labor for chickenfeed.  More than 250 million children in the world work for as little as 25 cents a day.   As a last resort, many even have to sell their bodies.  More than a million children are forced into prostitution every year.   Millions of children under the age of 15 are developing HIV and dying of AIDS, and more than 25,000 people die unnecessarily from easily preventable causes every day of every week of every year (As cited in Dave Andrews, Plan Be,  Authentic Media,  United Kingdom, pp 16-17, 2008).   Recently, I read that New York City, right here in America, has over 22,000 homeless children scattered in the over 460 homeless shelters across the city.  The poverty of the world is rushing in on us too, even in a wealthy country where the rich get richer, but the poor only get poorer, where good jobs are getting harder to find, and people are finding it more difficult to make a living wage even working two jobs at minimum wage.

But while there is much to mourn and grieve over, not everyone mourns or feels the pain of the current state of the world.  Not everyone knows the ‘blessing’ of understanding, feeling for, and desiring to answer the pain others feel and experience.   Most of us only acknowledge what we feel, see, hear, and experience for ourselves, and this mostly depends upon where we ‘stand’ in the world.   Are we with the top 20 percent who are ‘well fed’ and ‘laugh’ as Luke 6.25 says, so that we ‘rejoice with those who rejoice’ (Romans 12.15), or can we identify with the other 80 percent of the population---those bottom 20 percent---who go hungry, who don’t know where the next meal will come from, and who cry and worry themselves to sleep (Luke6.25)---can we ‘weep’ and ‘mourn’ with those who mourn?  Do we see any blessing in ‘mourning’ with those who mourn and grieve?  Can we, who are numbered among the most ‘blessed’, find any ‘good’ reason to feel the pain and mourn with those who suffer around us?

Perhaps the most important “blessings” that come from mourning our own losses in life, is that we learn to feel the pain of others and most importantly, we learn to feel the ‘pain’ of God.   In mourning not only for ourselves, but for others, we learn to mourn and weep over the sin of the world, which includes mourning over our own sin, that in its worst form is the sin of not caring.   Two times in Scripture we see Jesus weeping, and both times he was not weeping for himself, but for others.   In one text Jesus wept over the death of his friend Lazarus, but in another text, he wept over the entire city of Jerusalem because it was unable to realize its own need to return to God.   When we lose the ability to sorrow over sin, especially our own sin, we lose part of our humanity.  As someone has said, “Hell is not to care anymore.”   To put it another way, the unending pain of Hell the Bible portrays, is like the state a person reaches when the only pain they feel is their own; and now, this pain never lets up because that person has become unable to feel the pain of God or share the pain of others.  “On the American Frontier,” J. Ellsworth Kalas writes, “(Methodists) used to have a ‘mourners bench’, which was placed in front near the pulpit, where persons publically ‘mourned’ and expressed sorrow over their own shortcomings,” but he adds, “that would be a hard sell in our feel-good culture!”  (From a sermon “The Happy Mourners” by J. Ellsworth Kalas, in Beatitudes from the Back Side, Abingdon Press, 2008, p. 28).   In a society like ours---a society that because of its great wealth becomes lost in pleasurable feelings while it tirelessly works to insulate itself and its children from the painful realities of life, such a society, can finally lose the sensitivity that makes us most human: our ability to feel, to care, and to mourn over what brings hurt and pain to ourselves and others around us.  We must never take this positive side of ‘mourning’ lightly.  We must never cease to feel the pain in the heart of God.

THE COMFORT ONLY GOD GIVES
Jesus gives one reason to seek the God’s blessing that comes from being able to mourn.  But it’s not what you might think. There is certainly no ‘blessing’ in the pain, loss, and mourning people experience in this life.  There is also no blessing in the sin, the brokenness, the injustice or the darkness that still curses our world.   No, Jesus does not find any hidden ‘blessing’ in the terrible condition we find ourselves in, nor in the terrible condition of the world around us.  No, the only way ‘blessing’ can come to those who mourn is because we or they ‘will be comforted’ by God.  Only God can give comfort to those who lose everything, and only God can make up for what most people will never have of the material blessings in this life?  Only God is big enough to comfort hurts like ours—and hurts that still fill our world---because only God can give a comfort that the comforts of this world can never give!   But how does God give this kind of comfort?  How ‘will’ God bring ‘comfort’ to world that still suffers too much?   

I don’t think there is any pain, hurt or grieving in this life that is worse that a parent who loses a child.  Unfortunately, many parents have had to experience such a painful loss, but few have been able to express it like the Christian philosopher, Nicholas Wolterstorff.  He wrote about his grief in Lament for a Son, after his son Erick was killed in a mountain climbing accident.   Several years after the loss, Wolterstorff noticed that the wound was no longer ‘raw’ but it hadn’t disappeared.  But he is quick to add, that he doesn’t mind the grief as much, because, he says, “If he (Eric) was worth loving, he is worth grieving over….”   Then, he makes this conclusion, “Grief is the testimony to the worth of the one loved….Every lament is a love song.”

“How strange is this,” comments Pastor James Howell, “that through the darkest moments of grief and pain, people can often recount an unmistakable sense of God’s presence?”  God’s loving, caring presence is seldom fully disclosed when everything is going fine and great, but God is known most fully when we encounter the pain and the darkness! “Through the prism of my tears, I have seen a suffering God,” Wolterstorff expressed how he found God’s comfort in his pain (This was told in James Howell’s, The Beatitudes for Today, 2006, p. 42).  It wasn’t that God took his pain and mourning away, but this Father came to realize that God shared His pain of loss, and this brought him comfort.  Coping, dealing with loss comes from the life-changing experiences of eternal love----the love a Father has for his son, and the love that God has for us.  

“When things go well, “ William Barclay wrote, “it is possible to live for years on the surface of things; but when sorrow comes a person is driven to the deep things of life, and , if he or she accepts it aright, a new strength and beauty enter into his or her soul.” (Wm. Barclay, The Gospel of Matthew, p. 88). Out of a sense of love, God’s love, love now, and love for eternity, we find the source of all comfort.   Isn’t this the ‘love’ Paul spoke of in his conclusion to his second letter to the Corinthians, when he wrote: “Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and through grace gave us eternal comfort and good hope, comfort your hearts and strengthen them in every good work and word” (2Th 2:16-17 NRS)?

Because God loves us and gives ‘eternal comfort’ to us through his ‘grace’, we can mourn our loses and we can endure them.  And because God’s comforts and transforms us, we can mourn with and comfort others with the comfort we have received.  We can only live out these words, “Blessed are those who mourn..” because we know the God who is the source of all comfort.  Amen.   

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