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Sunday, May 26, 2013

When People are Bears

A Sermon Based Upon Colossians 3: 12-13; Luke 8: 40-48
By Rev. Dr. Charles J. Tomlin, DMin
Flat Rock-Zion Baptist Partnership
Trinity Sunday, May 26th, 2013

“Bear with one another, and if anyone has a complaint, forgive each other….”   (Colossians 3: 13, NRSV).

I was an only child.  My wife, being the oldest of 7, will say that it’s very obvious.  We ‘onlys’ have ways that are not always likeable, nor very social.  We can be self-absorbed.   But don’t be too hard on us.  It was the way we learned to survive in an adult world where we often felt alone.   Bear with us.

The first time I realized that it was not good to be alone, I was still a child.   I had a coloring book and I loved to color.   A friend from the neighborhood came over.  I loved having him around---having someone to play with.  We got to the coloring book.  Then came the problem.  He wanted to color the page I wanted to color.  He could not color the way I could color.  He was going to mess up ‘my picture’ and ‘my book’.   I snatched the book away from him and said,  “Let me show you how to color in the lines.”   My mother heard me, came in the room and ordered me to give the book back.  (How did she know?).   Then she said,  “Joey, if you want to have friends, you have to let him color the picture he wants to and to color how he wants to.”   It was then, for the first time, I understood what it means to “bear” another person.   I was a little behind on learning the human skill of ‘bearing’; and still have trouble with it at times.

If you don’t want to end up a grumpy person, all alone without any friends at all, you have to learn to ‘bear one another’.   This is what the Apostle Paul instructed the young church filled with new Christians.  What do you think was behind these words?   What was the ‘bear’ behind the bearing?  How can, as the French philosopher Paul Sarte once said,...How can Hell be other people?"   

THE “BEAR” IN BEARING
For Christians especially, there is indeed a ‘bear’ in this command to ‘bear one another’.   For you see we Christians understand ourselves as people who are supposed to live rightly—who are, to put it in this coloring book image, suppose color rightly, and are even called to help others learn how to life live so that they ‘color between the lines”.   But we also know that this is not always easy to define.   The lines are gray in some areas.  Everybody does not have the same skill in coloring.   Sometimes our ability to ‘get it right’ keeps us from ‘bearing’ the difficulty others have in ‘getting it right’.

The great example we have from the New Testament story, is what happen when the Jews handed the coloring book over to the Gentiles.   The Gentile Christians could not color like the Jewish Christians.   The Gentiles did not know how to color ‘circumcision’ or kosher diets, or other rituals of the Jewish Christian church.   Some wanted to snatch the coloring book back and show them how to do it right.  Others said it didn’t matter what color they used or whether they got it all right, as long as they were on the same page.  The whole idea of letting strangers color in God’s coloring book made some people difficult to bear.   

In response to the difficulties and differences in how people understood the right way to ‘color’ the gospel, Paul made a big issue in the church about learning to ‘bear’ with one another.   You read a lot about the details of the early church’s struggle to learn about how to share the coloring book of grace letter to the Corinthians.   Particularly in 1 Corinthians 8 and 9, the apostle Paul writes about what to do about ‘food sacrificed to idols’.   Some Christians refrained from eating anything that had ‘idol’ stamped on it, just like many today won’t get close to alcohol, tobacco or other things that can pull people down.   Other Christians said, since there is no such thing as idols, or we know better, would eat or partake, never letting any food, or any other substance get in the way of their life and faith.   Both of them claimed to know what was the right thing to do.  Both of them had found a way to deal with the temptation to deny God.   But which way was the right way?     What was Paul’s answer to such a relational quandary?  How would Paul help them early Christians to ‘bear with one another’ even though they had their differences in customs, in beliefs, and in habits and in viewpoints?

This is still as ‘hot topic’ today, as it was then.  People in churches, synagogues, mosques, communities, cities and nations see things differently.   If we don’t learn to ‘bear with one another’ in our differences we cannot bear with each other very long.   Without some understanding, appreciation, and maybe even the ability to celebrate our differences, the world can become a violent, hateful, and disgraceful place.   Paul knew this when his first word about which ‘knowledge’ was the right knowledge, answered clearly, “We all think we possess the right knowledge.  Yet, knowledge puffs us up, whereas love build us up.  Just knowing something does not give you all the knowledge you need for living in hope;  God knows you, but your hope for life is built a greater truth; God loves you.  Love is the greatest knowledge.”  (My paraphrase of 1 Cor. 8:1).

To learn to love people you don’t agree with can be a bear.   We all know this too well.   Our news/media world today (or should I say circus), capitalizes on our differences; different viewpoints, extreme ideas, exceptional ways.  It does not make money unless it has a story to tell.  Stories are made up of contrasts, differences, and conflict.  Our media is also based upon trying to remain neutral, with no ideal, no truth, no vision, and no resolution other than the facts.  This can lead to more coldness, more division, and less understanding and more confusion. 

If a news reporter were reporting on the differences in the early church concerning food, he or she would never speak the way Paul spoke later about the ‘food issue’ saying, “Food will not bring us close to God.  WE are no worse off if we do not eat, and no better off if we do.  But take care that this liberty of your does not somehow become a stumbling-block to the weak.”  (8:8-9).   The News media can’t say there is a god---there is no proof.   The News media also can’t say it doesn’t matter what you eat, because that makes there ‘news’ not matter.  Finally, the News media can’t tell you not to be a ‘stumbling block’ because they are to remain neutral, without any encouraging any kind of moral value other than valuing their skill to report the truth as they see it. 

 But here’s the rub.  Nobody can report the truth except ‘the way they see it’ or ‘want to see it’.  There is a value judgment in everything we see and say.   Pilate was indeed asking the right question: What is truth?   The only truth that exists in this very human world is what we decide we want the truth to be.  This does not mean there is no absolute truth, but there is always some kind of angle on truth.   You and I have to decide who or what determines or constitutes ‘truth’ in our world.   To have faith in God is deciding for a certain truth---a truth that is not automatic, but must be decided by faith.  To believe that you need to go on a religious diet is much different than going on a regular diet.     One is obvious, but the other is not.  It is decided from the heart---from the inside out.   

And this is exactly what Paul is getting at.  If you want to bear with others, then you have to decide that what kind of spiritual ‘diet’ you are going to go on.   Are you going to have a faith that feeds on hate, differences, and dislikes or are you going to feed on a diet of love, similarities, or common goals, such as  Paul suggests to the Colossians, as ‘compassion, humility, gentleness, patience and ‘bearing with the other’ as the greater good, the greatest knowledge and the best decision.  What do you want to happen here, Paul is asking us too?   You can’t have a human race without learning how to bear our differences in love.   You can’t have a church without deciding whether to make grace exactly what it is.   We can only learn to bear one another when we learn how to implement God’s own grace into our own human relations.

GAINING THE ABILITY TO FORGIVE
When we learn to ‘bear with one another’ the real question comes down to where do we draw the line, and how firm or flexible will we be with drawing that line.

When I went on my first overseas mission experience in Brazil back in the late 1980’s, one word of advice that was given to us ‘would be missionaries’ was whatever you do, be flexible.   Don’t try to make everybody in Brazil into a Baptist.  Don’t try to say that just because they are not Christian like you are Christian does not mean that they are not Christian.  We all come to God with a different set of cultural eyes, cultural viewpoints, and cultural experiences.  

I really didn’t know what the Mission trainer meant until I hit it head on.   I ran into a Brazilian Baptist who told me that everybody who smokes a cigarette is going straight to hell because they already smell like hell when you get close to them.  That was quite a shock.  It wasn’t that I was for smoking.  I didn’t smoke.  I often confronted my mother about the unhealthiness of her smoking.   But I didn’t like the fact that this Brazilian Baptist had it all figured out and didn’t allow for things like wrong choices, the power of addictions, or cultural difficulties, like people in Iredell and Yadkin county, where I grew up who had tobacco farms.  I knew that these folks were promoting tobacco by selling it, but I also knew they were just trying to make a living.  Some were trying to get away from it.  Others couldn’t.   I didn’t like that Brazilian calling my people devils from hell preparing to go back to hell by participating in the tobacco industry. 

But I also knew he had a point.  Tobacco is not a Christian ideal.  Tobacco is not good for you.  Growing tobacco is a sin that we need forgiveness for, like a lot of other sins we all have committed in our lives.  Getting rid of our sin is not always as easy as saying “stop that” or “don’t do that”.  Sometimes sin is all wrapped up in who we are, who our families have been for generations, and it is not that easy to just ‘stop’ and ‘do better’.   Sin requires grace.  Getting rid of, or overcoming sin is not that easy.

One of the most difficult and controversial issues in our day is homosexuality and gay marriage.   As a Christian, I sincerely believe that the highest ideal is heterosexual marriage.  I believe this is what God intended, just like he didn’t intend for people to pick up a cigarette and light up.  I can’t preach that smoking is O.K., just like I can’t preach that homosexuality is what God intends.  But should gay people be loved, be accepted, and be part of our world?  Science tells us that Homosexuality has been part of our world since the beginning.   You can call it sin, you can call it a flaw in the DNA, or you can call it a choice or a social problem, and you can even call it 'normal' for some people, but the truth is there is nothing any of us can do to stop them from being a part of our world, our nation, our communities and even our churches.    

But like other less than ideal behaviors we can’t stop, and other people can’t stop,  we must come to make a bigger decision about what to do in the future.   If as Christians, we must draw the line about homosexuality, could we learn to draw the line like most of us did about smoking.  It’s not what we want.  It might not be what’s needed.  It’s certainly not what I can preach.  But it is what it is….and what we must do is decide whether or not we will love someone we can’t understand, even someone we don’t like. Can we understand that being with others will always mean ‘bearing with’ people in this imperfect world that is not yet fully redeemed.   Remember in heaven, there will be no cigarettes and there will be no sex.   Well, the truth is Jesus didn’t say whether or not there would be cigarettes, but he did tell us there would be no sex.  So, my advice to everyone should be to stop sex now, since there won't be any in heaven---right!  Wrong!  My advice should be to love each other, bear each other let’s the courts do what courts do, and trust that one day God will do what only God can do---make us complete, perfect, whole and righteous.  I’m counting on God’s court of forgiving  love.

For now, in this imperfect world, if we are going to be the church is a world where people are different, we have decide where to draw the line, and we also have to decide what kind of line we will draw; and what will we do when people color outside of those lines.  Paul has a suggestion, or should I say command from the Lord.  Paul suggests that even if we have to draw lines, that when we draw them, we still ‘forgive’ each other when people step across that line.   This is exactly what ‘forgive us our trespasses’ means in the Lord’s prayer.  To sin means to step across God’s line, or not to be able to reach God’s standard, ‘to fall short’.   When God forgives ‘sinner’s’ who fall short, he calls us to do the same thing.  Only when we forgive are we able to keep ‘bearing with each other’.  

When I told my mother it wasn’t O.K. that she smoked.   I also told her I didn’t wouldn’t allow her to smoke around my daughter.   I wanted my mother to try even harder to break her addiction.   But if my mother failed.  I would love her anyway.   I always forgave my mother.  I remember how she also forgave me.  I gave my mother grace, just like she gave me grace.  I didn’t look down on my mother.  She was my mother and I loved her more, not less, due to her struggle with tobacco.  In the same way with all the other hot button issues of our day.  We may have to draw the line with what we can handle or not handle.  But we still have to forgive each other.   When I came home from the mission field, one of my best friends in church and school told me he was gay.   I immediately went to him.  I told him that did not want that for him, but I accepted him, loved and forgave him, whether I needed to or not.  I only asked that he also accept, love, and forgive me, for not always understanding.  But no matter our different worlds, I would still be his friend.  If he ever needed me, he could call on me.    

A lot of things happen in this world that God does not intend.    In a healthy understanding of God, we can say that God allows things to happen in this world that are not according to his perfect plan.   If he didn’t, we wouldn’t be here.   Life still has flaws.   Life is not perfect.   Look at a diseased person, a handicapped person, or a person who struggles in life.   We might say, their life is not worth it not valuable or worthy, but God says that life is still worth it and even sinners are welcome.   Again, many things happen in life that God did not intend like idols, dishonoring parents, lies, stealing, murder, adultery, or coveting what others have.  These are all things that are against God’s law---and at least to God, they are far more important to God than the lines people might draw about cigarettes or sexuality.  So if, we are going to draw the lines, draw them where the God has drawn them in the 10 commandments.  But no matter where you draw them, and no matter whether or not everyone else can ‘color’ within the lines, remember that if you are going to share life with others, even share God’s love with others, you are also going to have to be able to forgive those who transgress the lines you have drawn, because God forgives those who transgress his lines.  

LETTING GO OF POWER HELPS AND HEALS
How do we gain the power to forgive those who cross the line---either the line God has drawn or the line we have drawn in the sand, or in the Bible, or wherever we draw it?  I want to suggest something that comes out of Luke’s gospel story about Jesus’ healing power.  Jesus has the power to heal and help us.   I believe that this power of Jesus can help and heal us now, even in days of moral and ethical confusion.   Even when the lines are being redrawn, or unclear, or transgressed, I believe that Jesus’ line of love is the one line that can’t be moved.  Just as the 10 commandments were immovable lines for Moses and Israel, and are still immovable lines for a healthy culture, I also believe that love is the immovable line for Jesus, even when the commandments have been broken and forgiveness, grace, and healing is needed.   Jesus did not change the immovable lines, but he did forgive and reach out to people who could not ‘color’ within those lines.  This is part of what made Jesus---well, Jesus.   He let people color in his book, even if they couldn’t always stay between the lines.  I first heard Jesus in the voice of my mother.  She first instructed me to be like Jesus so I could love my neighbor who could wanted to color, but could not color like I did.   So what did I have to do to love, forgive and help that ‘stranger’ fell loved and welcomed in my house and in my book?   I had to let go of my power over the book.  I had to let go of having to have everything my way.  I had to ‘bear with’ them, to suffer their difference, even if it wasn’t me, wasn’t what I wanted, and definitely wasn’t how I wanted to see my book all colored up.   I had to allow some mis-coloring to have a new friend.   I had to allow that people were not like me, for them to like me.  I had to ‘bear’ even what I didn’t want to bear.   I had to forgive them, just like I would forgive myself, if I couldn’t color between the lines.

How do you and I give up ‘power’ to control what happens in this world, like God has given up ‘power’ to control people?   How do we give other people a chance to live an love, even if their idea of life and love is very different than our own.   Of course there are still lines.    We must draw lines.   But perhaps we can also forgive the lines, when others can’t color in those same lines.   But How?

Turn again to this story, where the great Healer is going through the crowd trying to heal people who lives are different.  They are different because they are not whole, and they are not what or who God intends.  Who cares whether they made choices that made them this way.   Jesus doesn’t seem to care.  All Jesus cares about is helping and bringing healing to people who realize how they hurt and need his healing touch.  On this particular mission Jesus is on his way to heal someone, but another someone, a stranger, a trespasser touches him.  You see it was not allowed for a ‘woman’ to touch a rabbi or any man in public.   But Jesus allows this woman to touch him.  Jesus allows anyone to come to him.  Jesus refuses no one.   Jesus does not draw lines when it comes to love, care, compassion, gentleness, kindness, and patience.  

But notice what happens when this woman touches Jesus.   Luke tells us that ‘power goes out of him’.  This is what happens when we love and bear other people.  We have to let go of some of our power.  When I went to see my friend who was struggling, I had all the power in the world to condemn him, to curse him, to criticize him or to cut him down.  Instead, I let the power go out of me, so that, at least between us, there could be healing love.    This may be the most needful image of power in our day---not the power we hold on to because of fear, hate, or lines that have been drawn in the sand; the greatest source of healing may still be for us as it was for Jesus, the power we let go out of us and into them.   Amen.

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